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Lookie here— I edited together the moments when Helms talks about Oncest into one spiffy little audio post! [I hope I got everything. Tell me if I didn’t.]
Ed Helms is amazing. And I think his reaction to this whole thing is amazing. He’s so sweet about it. I mean, he’s creeped out, but he says so in a nice way. Also, he implied that if we raised enough money, he’d provide his voice for a Once-ler porno. He didn’t say it, but he totally fucking implied it.
Also, the fact that he addressed the fandom publicly means that more people than ever will be looking into Oncest!
This fandom will keep biggering and biggering and no one can stop it!
This shouldn’t be so funny but I can’t stop laughing holy shit
At least he sounds amused? @_@
date of origin: 2012
Transcript:
Ed Helms: Oncest, Oncest, Oncest, Oncest, Oncest, Oncest, Oncest, what is that… I heard there is some sort of [deep breath] uh… there are people who have a sexual predilection for my character in The Lorax named the Onceler, and having sex with the Onceler is referred to as Oncest, and someone just tweeted that, and that is very odd because he is not a real person. I do agree however that he is extremely sexy, but I don’t… I don’t condone sexual fantasy about the Onceler. I don’t condone it.
“Since you worked on The Lorax, have you heard of a little thing called Oncest involving your character the Onceler?” We addressed this already, it’s getting very creepy! If you are - I’m gonna take a moment here to address this - if you are having sexual fantasies about my character in The Lorax, a cartoon character named the Onceler, you need to tell a professional psychiatrist and relationship counselor, and then you need to, uhh, then you need to pay Universal 200 million dollars to make a Onceler porn. Because that’s how much it costs to make these movies, so good luck with that.
“What is your opinion on the Onceler fandom? Check it out.” [laughing uncomfortably] I don’t know! And I’m getting really freaked out about this! I’m not gonna check it out, I don’t wanna know what’s going on with that. Uh-oh! “Oncest isn’t sex with the Onceler, it’s Onceler-on-Onceler, like twins only they’re the same person.” Go. Get. Psychiatric evaluation right now! This has become a- This has become a community crisis. America is in crisis right now [laughs] because there is a Onceler fetish that has gone out of control.
“Ed, please, we are so sorry for those few people, the fans of The Lorax aren’t all like that!” [laughs] Honestly, I don’t believe you, I think you are privately fantasizing about the Onceler right now.
